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 Stupid People

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Jayde
Warlord
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Posts : 107
Join date : 2010-05-30
Age : 42
Location : Wintermist

PostSubject: Stupid People   Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:04 pm

Today while at work I was overwhelmed. Normally this is from the sheer amount shit I must dig myself out of that my boss put on me. However, today was a unique day...

It started this morning when during our staff meeting, for some unknown reason, my HR girl made the announcement that she was going to bleach her hair. While I was trying to figure out why the hell she was talking about bleaching her hair when the super interesting topic of unbilled overtime was currently being discussed, my scheduling manager responded, "Cool, what color?"

Later I went to Besy Buy to purchase a zip drive for my computer and I used my company credit card. The girl behind the counter told me my card was not signed and asked me to sign it. I signed the card and she continued with the transaction. She then asked me to sign the receipt. When I was done she held up my card and compared my signature to the receipt.

When I got back to my office my scheduling manager (yes the same one as above) had taken his lunch break and gone to the store for his wife who needed a few things to make speghetti for diner. He had been bragging about how good it was and as I was interested in stealing the recipe I asked what she had him go get. He began pulling out things in which I was used to seeing for that type of meal. Then he pulled out a HUGE jar of olives. I immediately said, "Oh, I don't like olives in my speghetti." to which he responded, "Oh, she doesn't put olives in it.". Confused I asked, "then what are the olives for?" To which he explained, "She just needs olive oil. You can't even taste the olives in the sause."

Please....I beg you....smart people...let us unite now before there are to many of them to kill.

I think I am going to run for Emperor of America. Under my rule there will be testing prior to conception. Anyone who is to stupid to read a condom wrapper will be killed unless you have been given you license to breed. In fact, you will need to pass a test before you are even allowed to come near the opposite sex. I will fund a bill that will allow women to carry pistols in their purse and any time some guy hits on them with some lame come on, they may ask for his "hunting license". If he does not have one then they can kill him on the spot. If he does have one and he is just having a stupid moment you can wing him. This would insure that only the strong survived, intelligence would rule supreme and it cut down on rape by about 1000%.

I also promise to put a stupid lane on the freeway. Anyone found doing something stupid on the road will be pulled over and your license will have a hole punched into it. Three holes and the officer can shoot you next time he pulls you over. If you want a hole removed you can go to "Traffic School", but insted of watching Blood on the Highway again, you will actually have to learn something.

I further will fix our justice system. I understand that there is a 3% error in our justice system. To fix this, we will go back to the "Eye for and eye" system. Once you are convicted you will be handed over to the people you wronged and they may extract up to, but not exceed, the same amount of damage to you that you caused them. If you can talk your way out of it, hurray, your not guilty. If not, to bad, here it comes.

Jesus junkies who are so wrapped up in God that they are blinded to the reality of real life will be expedited to his All Mightyness.

If you are in a gang or look like you are in a gang...dead

If you are a scientologist....dead

If you are to stupid to listen to police when they say "get on the ground"...dead

If you play your crappy music so loud that other drivers can't hear their radio's...dead

Creepy children who see dead people, monsters outside their window or disappear into tv sets...dead

Everyone who watches the 700 club....dead

Anyone who has ever purchased something from QVC...dead

Any athlete who makes over a million dollars a year (we can add in inflation to raise this...but thats it)...dead

Any comedian, movie star, politician or famous person who promotes stupidity or makes money from it (yes I mean you freaking blue collar comedy tour)....dead

That loud guy on the infomercials...dead

The guy who created infomercials....dead

...and the damn guy who came up with the term infomercial...dead

NASCAR ... dead

WWF.....dead

Sprint operators...dead

People who don't speak english working at a drive thru...dead

....oh

Sorry, got carried away


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