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 Wisdom comes with age

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Jayde
Warlord
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Posts : 107
Join date : 2010-05-30
Age : 42
Location : Wintermist

PostSubject: Wisdom comes with age   Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:12 pm

Well, once again it has been a while....

I am writing this because I really miss some of you and since I am going on a cruise this week I felt I should leave you all with some words of wisdom.

But first, JAYDE HAPPY FREAKIN BIRTHDAY!!!! I know you can 't miss reading my posts...so HA!

Moving on...As some of you know I went to war the past weekend and in a very uncharacteristic move I got drunk...no wait...I got SUPER drunk. So today's lesson will be on what I learned about my most recent drinking binge.

When you think are finished throwing up, you can vomit far beyond this point

Putting your foot on the ground will not stop the world from spinning, but it does give you a reference point to vomit

The second sign you have been drinking to much when you get hit on the back of the head with a porta potty toilet seat

The first sign you have been drinking to much is when you are peeing on a public road and waving at all the cars

There is no key hole that will unlock my tent door

"Drink Canada Dry" is a slogan...not a personal challange

If you turn a Red Dog beer bottle upside down to see batman eating out batwomen you just lose your beer (...and DUH, I was to drunk to see anything)

Stories can be told from inside a porta potty and still be funny.

I can be very funny...even in the middle of throwing up.

Contrary to what you might think, trees will not reach out and stop you from falling

Horsemen will hold you up, but they will not stop you from getting in trouble.

When I am drunk, similar but not quite like superman, I can pee over a small car...ok...it was a motorcycle.

When drinking, unlike superman, I am not able to LEAP over anything

When drinking, just like superman, I will rip open my shirt to expose the big red "S" on my chest (even if ther is not one there...or has been drawn in with a marker)

I can throw a throwing knife even when I am drunk...it just doesn't stick into anything...unless you count a tent.

There is no such thing as a left handed pepper spray can

Pepper spray hurts even when you are drunk

Pepper spray does not taste good....even on a eggs.

Thats all for now...see you all on the 18th!



Alexander

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